This year I made a resolution to be content. Here we are in May and I have found two things that are really driving that home for me. The first was a quote I saw a couple of weeks ago that said “unpause your life”. Do you ever feel like you are living life in pause mode? Waiting for a promotion, waiting to move, waiting to graduate, waiting…for what? A few weeks ago I turned 28, I posted this photo on instagram and said
“It’s my birthday and today I turn 28! My 10 year high school reunion is this year so I’ve been thinking a lot about where I thought I would be now 10 years ago. I didn’t think I would be a wedding planner, I wanted to be an interior designer. I didn’t want kids…probably ever. And although I wanted my own business I thought I would start it when I was a “grown-up” which at the time in my head meant probably in my thirties. It’s amazing how you just wake up all of a sudden and your life has taken you on a path you never dreamed of. I’m still well on my way to where I want to be in a lot of ways, but the best surprises of my twenties have been my baby (now more of a miniature awesome human thing) and my business…which I never would have had the guts to start if I hadn’t been pregnant. I did some strange things when I was pregnant like chop all my hair off (we’re talking boy short) and start a business (thankfully the business worked out and my hair grew back). So now that I’m almost a “grown-up” it’s exciting that I started my life before I thought I could. Life always feels like we are waiting for something…never sure exactly what. So do something awesome while you are waiting.”
I saw the “unpause your life” quote a few weeks later and it felt like it kind of summed up what I was trying to say. Then Saturday morning as I was creating florals for my wedding I decided to play some Tenth Avenue North on my phone. I just flipped through youtube and played some songs I hadn’t heard before. The first one that played was “Empty my Hands”. The main chorus of the song says- “empty my hands and fill up my heart”. This, to me feels like something God was speaking directly to me, I am so busy chasing these wordly goals, chasing…waiting…and I just need to empty my hands. I do believe that God makes good things happen to people who serve him, but I am just so “busy”. Ugh, I hate that word. With a lot of things that don’t feel like they matter. I want to unpause my life and do things that actually matter.